For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice

Sunday escape after a week at home …

I was feeling silly and a pink fur looked just perfect to celebrate the come-back of my good mood ! also I decided tomorrow evening I will celebrate the begininning of the year 😊 !

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Champagne Supernova

This week was really intense, I felt good since Tuesday and had been a hurricane since then…

This was my main problem also last year when I started the tamoxifen… I felt so tired all the time but apparently I am not mature enough to accept my limits, I just keep doing a million things until I am completely knocked out ! I didn’t change much since then… 

I stopped buying christmas presents a couple of years ago and instead I bake cookies for my friends, which is a little bit more stressing, but at the same time I enjoy the cooking part and is a nice gesture of love! So I spent my friday baking cookies and buying christmas decoration for the christmas party I hosted with my boyfriend at our place….

Since the chemo I started to eat only natural organic foods,almost no meat, mostly fruit, lots of fresh juices, veggies, soups  and fish (I am a former vegetarian so I also like to eat that way ) I need to take care of myself in this moment, try to exercise and eat properly, maybe in this way  I can go through the treatments with less side effects. …  so now I feel  guilty for having had too many drinks and for eating maaaaaaany unhealthy foods during these days  but since my next chemo will be on the 29 I guess this week-end included my celebrations for the new year as well ! And by the way… I had so much fun …totally worth it ! 

Also… tomorrow I will have a small surgery for the port which is a little button put under skin near the clavicle and is used to access the vein for the chemo, I am not exactly thrilled to have another plastic piece put in my body but I also realize that it will really be useful, temporary and bla bla bla….

” Friends are therapists you can drink with “

 

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There is no Place like Home

I am at the airport about to go back home, these days were nice… I had some very beautiful moments and very hard ones.

I had eggs in every possible style and shape

I shopped at the union square xmas market while sipping hot apple cider and all my friends are getting apple-shaped ornaments for their trees this year –

I had too many margarita and many beautiful talks with my friends

I got a beautiful tattoo

I couldn’t wait after Thanksgiving to go back home beacause I need to go to the doctor and have my armpit medicated after the surgery (actully they have to drain the fluids but no one need these details I guess 🙈 ) it’s a pity cause I think in hard moments it really helps to seat down and count your blessings, they might be few or not even closely balance out your hardships but there must be some, somewhere.

I feel blessed that I am going home actually. I used to travel so much when I was younger, I never missed my country, not even my home, I never missed my friends, I never missed anyone… I was such a different person back then.

Now I can’t wait to be home seated on the couch waiting for my boyfriend to arrive while sipping red wine, tv on, under a blanket, with my cats sleeping on my legs.

Maybe I’m getting old, maybe when you are broken you just want your home and all the people that love you around, but for sure I also didn’t have a lot to go back to at that time…

“she knew she loved him when home went from being a place to being a person”