I spent my whole life considering everything from the other person perspective. I consider myself reasonably a generous person.
I wouldn’t say to someone that he hurt me, because I didn’t want the other person to be hurt from that.
But let’s be honest… right now, when someone tells me that it must be difficult for my parents, or for my friends, or my boyfriend… I am so sorry, but I so don’t give a shit.
I just can’t force myself into it, not only into feeling sorry for those who surround me, but I also can’t see that it must be difficult for them. Or I mean, I know at some level that it is difficult also for them it’s just… I don’t give a shit.
I think it’s the first time that I am being like that. I just don’t want to put myself into my mother’s shoes, I don’t want to see if my experience it’s hurting her. because… I am ok, I am happy at times, I know I will go through this, I am having wonderful days and beautiful chitchats with my friends and I lots of “belly laughs” but … in nights like this, when my friends tell me that for my family “it must be difficult” I can not avoid to stop… and feel… empty. And feel how my life is stretched and broken, to feel how my life hurts right now.